Sunday Afternoon Reflections - When I'm an Old Lady

Part of me has a small sense of perverse humor about how I might spend my later years. I have three children to choose from if it ever came down to living with one of them, and if they're smart, they're saving up their pennies to supplement my retirement income for a nice live-in caretaker... or a lovely assisted living center.

Not that I'm that difficult to get along with, but let's just say that I believe in the adage of "Don't get mad, get even," when it comes to some things.  Like when my oldest finally got his driver's license (at 17 instead of 16 like most of his friends and both of his siblings)... one of the first things I did was climb into the back seat directly behind the new driver - and proceed to jam my knees and feet into the back of his seat while asking "Are we there yet?" every two minutes. Okay, maybe it was a little mean especially since he was actually the quietest of the children when it came to being a passenger in the car, but there was that one trip...

Anyway, I ran across this adorable poem and had to share it - if any of my kids are reading this, stop now, close your browser page and remember that your mother is maternal perfection personified!
(Everyone else, keep reading!)

Red Hat Lady from APieceOfLisa

 WHEN I'M AN OLD LADY

  When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid, 
and bring so much happiness, just as they did. 
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided. 
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited! 
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues, 
and I'll bounce on the furniture wearing my shoes. 
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out. 
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout! 
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach, 
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach. 
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head, 
and when that is done, I'll hide under the bed! 
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat, 
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat, 
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table, 
And when they get angry. I'll run. if I'm able! 
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click, 
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick. 
I'll take off my socks and throw one away, 
and play in the mud till the end of the day! 
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh, 
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes. 
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping, 
and say with a groan, "She's so sweet when she's sleeping!"

-- Author Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH

xo,