In the Still of the Night...

...your eyes flutter open, your heart is racing, your arms are numb, your chest feels like a boulder is sitting on it, you're nauseous, cold and clammy, you begin shaking uncontrollably, and you feel a sense of impending doom and helplessness. A heart attack? No... The residual effects of a nightmare? Perhaps... but in my case, it's usually a panic attack - and thankfully it will peak in about 10 minutes and resolve within 20 - usually.

Today is International Panic Day so I'd like to share a little bit about panic, or rather, panic disorder. Panic disorder affects one in 113 Americans, including me. More specifically in my case, panic disorder with agoraphobia - meaning that when my disorder is rearing its ugly head, it is often difficult for me to leave home for the simple reason that I'm afraid I'll have an attack somewhere public where it will be difficult, if not impossible, to easily work my way through the attack.

I wish I could say it was as easy as telling myself to stay calm or "put my big girl panties on and deal with it", but it's not... and unfortunately, even the medical community still classifies panic disorder as "behavioral" or a "mental health" issue. While there is a conscious, cognitive factor to the disorder, it is so much more than a simple state of mind or conscious behavior. And the truth is that no one really understands why some people have panic disorder. There is a familial component - meaning that if your mom or aunt or grandmother had this disorder (sorry guys, I know you have them too, but women are affected twice as often!) , there is more of a likelihood that you will too. There is also some belief that people can develop the disorder as a reaction to prolonged periods of stress due to the physiological chemical cascade that both positive and negative stress can produce. Finally, there are physical causes - some of which, fortunately can be controlled or eliminated completely - and by the way, this is one issue that you really can say is "glandular"!

I mentioned a chemical cascade earlier - and I've learned that, at least in my case, hormones tend to play a MAJOR role in the frequency and severity of my attacks. Not surprisingly, my first series of attacks began when I was pregnant with my youngest 23 years ago and in a very stressful period of my life. Because of the pregnancy and the limited knowledge in the medical community at the time as to how to treat the disorder, I had to deal with the attacks sans medication back then. Nowadays, medications used to treat this problem often include beta-blockers (to regulate heart rate since even a moderate sudden rise in heart rate can kick off an attack and we tend to be overly aware of those rises), antidepressants (specifically SSRI's like zoloft, paxil, celexa, just to name a few), a mild tranquilizer for those especially rough or what I like to refer to as "rolling" panic attacks - where they come one right after another for several hours, and cognitive therapy (relaxation techniques or conscious changes in physical behavior to break the cycle of physical reaction). The hormonal cascade that runs amok with this disorder involves a release of adrenaline (the fight-or-flight hormone that is essential to our basic survival abilities) , possibly caused by an abnormal activation of the amygdala (a part of the brain which coordinates our response to danger). This part of the brain sends signals to the hypothalamus, where the pituitary gland (the master gland that controls all of our other glands) is located. The ensuing response is automatic, and in people with panic disorder, exaggerated.

Ongoing studies and research are being done to find the cause of this abnormal reaction - and hopefully once a cause is found, a cure won't be far behind. Until then, those of us with this disorder will continue to try to find the best way we can individually deal with the symptoms, and I, for one, hope to spread some understanding of panic disorder as the physical illness it usually is and help others to understand that dealing with it is not as simple as it may seem, although with proper medical treatment and a little acceptance and support from those around us, panic disorder is manageable. For now, one of my favorite helps is try to keep calm and carry chocolate!

A special thank you goes out to all of the wonderful Etsy shops whose pieces illustrate my story! Be sure to stop by and visit them to see all of the other great items that lie waiting to find their way into your heart!

Awake 5x5 Print by ValeriaH
BIG GIRL PANTIES Scrabble Tile Pendant Charm by queeniedesigns
serotonin - depression and anxiety necklace by bethtastic
Panic Banana plush by houseofdarkly
KEEP CALM AND CARRY CHOCOLATE scrabble tile pendant by

wickedlymodpendants